What if I'm not good enough to keep real friends and not pretty enough to have fake ones? What then?

Caucasians are full of themselves & Plastic surgery

Ok so recently I started reading about plastic surgery, mostly because I've recently started thinking differently about it. All my life I've lived with the "western" perception of plastic surgery, which is in short that plastic surgery is frowned upon and that it's "un-natural". And just now I've started viewing it how I think it should be viewed in general; If you want to and have the ability to improve yourself whether it's internal or external, then why not? If you spend 20 minutes everyday contouring your nose so it'll look slimmer, why is it then so taboo to have it fixed permanently? And why do people just assume that you have serious self asteem issues if you make your eyes a little bit bigger with surgery, but at the same time using eyeliner to do the same thing is expected of you? That is just something you could think about if you wan't to tell me how plastic surgery is bad in the first place. Because this is not what I wanted to focus on in this post. What I wan't to talk about is how caucasian people yet again don't fail to embarras me.

This is Yoona, she's a korean Idol considered by many to be the ideal beauty in Korea

When researching plastic surgery, more specifically plastic surgery in South Korea I of course stumbled upon lots of western blogposts and youtube videos about the south korean trend. And the statements I continued finding made me feel awkward on their behalf. No matter how intelligent or not really experienced about this matter people were they still couldn't not mention the phrase ".. to look more western". After hearing this 3 times in a row it made me wish I wasn't considered the same as them, and I prayed to god that all the people from asia watching that didn't assume we all think like that. I'm going to say this one time and hope to god that you understand: All people do not get plastic surgery to look western! Heck most don't even lighten their skin to make them
look western! I know! it's shocking right? They do all this to make them look more beautiful. And yes many think that westerners are pretty, but that does not mean they go under the knife to look like us. Most of them couldn't even give a damn about us. The fact that we woud even think they all do it to look like us just proves how incredibly naive and self sentered caucasians tend to be.

Everything does not revolve around the US or Europe, even though we really like to think so. These people who have plastic surgery done have it to fit their own countries standards of beauty. And their standards of beauty, like so much else in this world is not nesesaraly "western". Besides the popular beliefs here in the west, that all asians look the same, the countries even tend to have different beauty standards! Take South Korea and Japan for example. In Japan crooked teeth are considered attractive and cute, even so much that they would go to the dentist to make them crooked, not straighten them! In South Korea on the other hand this trend id not concidered as a feature that their ideal woman would have. So would you just please stop Amerika!(And Europe, Australia and other caucasian countries) because everything is not about you, and it's humiliating to me that so many people think it is.

Here's a funny parody done by some Korean idols as well, and guess what? even in a parody about their obsession with plastic surgery did they ever mention "the caucasian wannabe syndrom" or anything like that!

Betrayed

I can't help feeling betrayed nowadays. I've always had good friends. I have a large number of acquaintances and friends, but only a select few I truly trust and can talk to about anything. Or so I thought at least. Very few people know that I have a hard time with depression, and even fewer would ever suspect that of me. I'm the girl in class who always has something on her heart and likes discussing. I love guys and get along with them amazingly, although I kinda have this I-hate-you-but-not-really relationship with them. But I smile a lot in school because I have my two best friends and all my other friends, and honestly I should have very little to complain about living such a privileged and wonderful life.

But now I dare complain for the first time. Lately I've felt like my friends don't like me anymore.. I'm not talking about the people I'm friendly with, but I'm talking about my two closest friends. In our "gang" I've always been the glue. One of my friends has been my best friend since kindergarden and the other became my best friend in eight grade and I introduced them. So that's why I've always kinda felt like the glue, or the white part in the oreo if you will. But being with them is not like what it was anymore. I'm pretty sure I haven't changed that much, but maybe they've realized that I'm not as great as they initially thought I might be. Or maybe I've become boring without even noticing it. I don't know. I've never experienced this before.

I started feeling weird when talking to my childhood friend became weird and almost awkward. We've walked home together for 10 years and never have we ran out of things to discuss. It's hard to explain but even the silence used to feel nice. But now it was terrible. Initially I thought there was something wrong with me and that I was slowly becoming an awkward person or something. But after thinking about it I realized it wasn't me, but rather my friend choosing not to take interest in anything we talked about. That hurt, I thought she didn't like the way I was. So I tried to change. I knew I could be seen as rude because I often jokingly act mean to my friends, so I tried not joking about stuff like that and became nicer instead. Didn't help. I knew that my friend sometimes thought I talked about myself too much, so I avoided starting any sentence with I for a week. It didn't to much either. And this went on for a while, and I thought that maybe things would get better if I gave them space. But when I returned I received the same behavior.

It got worse and now they constantly keep me out of things. They exclude me when they go to the gym so I end up just going alone. Going to the gym together is kinda our thing and now I get invited if one of the others can't go, because they don't want to be alone. They even completely "forgot" to mention that they were going to a concert with some other people as well even though they knew I liked the artist playing. This was especially awkward because people kept asking why I wasn't going, and I didn't know what to answer because the only real reason was because I wasn't invited. I don't feel "safe" when I'm with them and I know they talk about me behind my back.

So I don't know what to do. This whole thing makes me feel so broken and it really triggers my depression even more. The worst thing about all of this is that I can't figure out what I've done. Why do they suddenly start doing this to me now? what has changed? Is it just because I'm me? It must be, I don't see any other likely explanation..

For now!

I apologize for not blogging in a while, I have a lot going on with finals and all that. Please forgive me^^

Panda and Hedgehog

If you haven't seen this yet, you should! I just finished watching this relatively new drama and I'm in love with it at the moment.
The drama is about a young patissier with a difficult past who wants to become the new pastry chef at a café called Panda after the owner who's name is Pan Da Yang. Go Seung Ji (the patissier) has a very prickly personality which earned him the nickname Hedgehog. Panda and Hedgehog experience a lot and of cource they fall in love and have a love triangle with one of Panda's childhood friends. But the plot in this drama isn't all that mainstream and it takes an interesting turn in the end when everything falls into place.

source: (http://weheartit.com/entry/33319052/via/myhaeven)

If you love cakes and pastries as much as I do you'll definitely love this! In my opinion it has this perfect mix of drama, humor and pastries. This is not a drama where you'll see talented patissieres at work and amazing artworks, but it's not a total fake either. We do at some point see their own interpretation of a traditional french croque un bouche, but most of the time we see simple but cute and inspiring pastries like macaroons.

This drama does have hints of the way too often seen cliché love story with the classic damsel in distress theme for the main character. And her beloved, often rich and popular, prince who falls for her the instant he sees her even though she's portrayed as an ugly girl. But not to the extreme extent like Boys Over Flowers was. The girl in this drama is normal to pretty looking and, yes, she is indeed in some deep s*** when we´re introduced to her. And yes the guy comes in and saves her as her last resort, and he does fall for her pretty quickly. But the Hedgehog in this drama is a little bit of a different twist from all of the other princes who keep appearing in other dramas. These are the reasons why Seung Ji is better:

1.He does have some money, and yes it helps Panda, but he's still not rich.
2. He does not live with his parents and yes, he had a tragic past. But they are not rich-kid problems and he was even in jail at one point of his life.
3. He is portrayed as a handsome and rather popular guy, but! he is not the typical way-too-cool-to-care-about-anything-and-extremely-cold-because-I'm-so-perfect-that-I-see-no-point-in-living type of guy.
4. And finally he messes up a lot, is very inexperienced with love but despite that he tries so hard to make Panda happy.

Now a lot of this credit went to the main male character, Go Seung Ji. But I have to say that the girl also did a great job with not clichéing it too much. She actually respects that the main character has a life that she is not involved in. She isn't as whiny as they usually are and not as clingy either.

source: (http://weheartit.com/entry/33192826)

my opinion(WATCH OUT! POTENTIAL SPOILERS)
As I previously mentioned I liked it because of the pastry theme and the fact that it's not that cliché. It might not be so cliche because the real main character in this series isn't really the girl but the guy. And the fact that they're both pretty grown up so they don't over dramatize everything. I liked the end also, even though it was very predictable(at least I thought so). Initially I also have to say: holy shit its the nerdy best friend from playful kiss! I remember really liking her in that drama, and here she is again:) I like that actress overall too, she seems special:) And it's also the kinda annoying nasal best friend from dream high 2, I always wondered if her nasal voice was natural or if it was a part of the character she played. She did sound a lot better in Panda and the hedgehog though:)

How my weekend might go

So tomorrow is friday
I currently feel horrible and I know I'm just getting worse by the minute so this is how I imagine my weekend will go down:

The supreme t-shirt is ironic because supreme is the furthest away from what I'll actually be feeling.

Give Dream High 2 a chance!

Until very recently I was one of those people who watched Dream High and loved it a lot! This was one of the first K-dramas I watched and I was really into it. Not only did this drama introduce me to the world of awesome dramas from korea/japan but it was also a huge factor when it comes to me being introduced to k-pop. This might me one of the reasons I ended up liking k-pop at all you know? so it was kind of a sentimental thing(not really, but you get my drift). After crying over the ending and mentally preparing for making this my ultimate bias in dramas ever, Dream High 2 was released.

At first I was freaking out because I honestly hate the ending of dream high. How you don't really know anything for sure. So here I was getting all excited until I saw the new poster/pictures and articles about it. The cast was completely new! The only thing I could think was WHY!? why would they do this to us when we all wanted a continuation of Dream High, not a new one! This made me boycott Dream High 2 and I decided that I was not going to watch it because in my head this show was going to be horrible either way. I mean, it's a new storyline. I didn't like the actors/actresses, and it's a new freaking storyline! I know I'm not the only one who thinks like this, because I've seen more than a lot of comments on youtube or other sites that prove this.

But after I watched Romantic and Idol I watched a clip from Dream High 2 again. And I thought I would watch it to see if I really thought JB was a jerk or not because of my previous post on him. But after watching one episode I couldn't just not watch the rest. So even though I swore to not watch it, I watched it! And it was so worth it!

I loved the storyline, and how they didn't just act like dream high 1 never happened. I loved how even though the main love triangle was there, it wasn't as dominating in the story as it usually is in like every other drama I've watched. This drama just seemed a lot more realistic than Dream High 1 did. Like how the "evil" girl in this drama is not actually evil and you can sympathize for her. Not like in DH where the girls went to extreme extents to destroy each other. This drama was full of emotions and extremely funny at the same time. So if you're debating on whether you should watch DH 2 or not, please give it a chance! You might end up really liking it!

And this song is so cute and great! It's the kind that really gets stuck in your head!

Follow this blog on bloglovin!

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/4806009/?claim=h2mfk4yusfb">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>
thank you!

The perfect gang

So next year I start fresh! New school new place and most importantly; new friends! I'm not moving or anything so I have the benefit of keeping my old friends as well as the new ones, so this is pretty much only positive! I decided to keep a list of 50 things I want to accomplish during first year of my new school. nr. 1 is to "make a group of friends that I'll know for the rest of my life". And I already kinda have this but after watching like a billion tv-shows through the years I've lived and experienced a lot of different friendships I've developed this dream of a perfect and absolutely amazing friend group!
This is what it consists of:
1. My best friend. I want this one friend that the whole gang started out with, she's very different from you, but you share some common interests and it works because you just click. You can talk to her about pretty much anything and you always have each others backs.

2. My best guy friend. Him, number 1 and you are like the tres amigos or something. He is the guy you friend-zoned from day one, and he did the same to you (so no emotions will f*** up this relationship). He will act as your gay best-friend regardless of if he's gay or not.

3. The girl who shares one of my guilty-pleasure-interests. By this I mean the things you don't broadcast that you actually enjoy. Like for example in my case: K-pop, anime and youtube. You will have our little secret youtube channel that is all about K-pop and anime and have inside jokes like no-one else. She will also be the one that takes you to all the conventions and introduces you to all the hot asian boys she knows.

4. My soulmate. I'm pretty sure that I already know this person. So I'm not sure if I'm gonna meet a new one like him, but who knows, right? This is the guy who just gets you. It's the guy who will write the same essay as you with the exact same opinion and examples without you even talking to each other. You will completely freak out yourself and your friends with how alike you are, and you'll often be adressed as the female version of him and vice a versa. Your similarities just work. You might date, you might not. But I know that no matter what happens, fate will find a way to freakishly cross your paths again.

5. the heart throb. The guy who will make you fall head over heels for him and then break your heart, and then make you want him again. He's most likely super-attractive and you'll hate him for that. But even if he breaks your heart it's okay because he's also your friend and you can't get rid of him that easy.

6. the girly girl. The one in the group that balances out the girly-ness. She is an  expert on boys and makeup. And she's also kind of a rebel and doesn't care that much about school. She's great for sleepovers, pillow-talks and for days where you'd rather skip class.

If life was a movie the rest of our teenage years would consist of us hanging out at food courts, drinking slushies, kissing boys, going to house parties and skateboarding.
But other than that we wouldn't be popular, we wouldn't not be popular either, but all in all we just really wouldn't care. Somehow we would stick together through all the unnecessary drama that most likely will occur and I would know these people for the rest of my life. What do you wish for in a gang?

JB is a jerk?

When JJ project released the song bounce was the first time I was introduced to them, I liked the song, but wasn't really into the guys so I ended up not becoming a huge fan. But I supported their music and JYP in general.

Then, later on, I decided to watch Romantic & Idol because I'm pretty much obsessed with Mir and want to see every show he's in (If someone knows about any good shows with Mir, please let me know!) And this was also when I recognized JB, although I was very Mir biased at first I ended up getting really into the series and liking pretty much all the people there. Except for JB. During the first date he seemed like a really nice guy and he's not exactly lacking in the looks department either so I was pretty sure I was going to like this guy!(^_^) But that didn't last very long..(._.) He looked good with Seung Ah and treated her well at first, but then he went on that one date with Fei and (in my opinion) became a jerk. I understand that he liked Fei and all, but after she chose someone else he should get on with his life. I mean, there's a limit to how much he could've fallen in love with her, when she even said the date was a bit awkward and silent. And when Fei was moving on to other people after knowing him for two days he just didn't stop obsessing, and seemed super awkward and overly attached. I wouldn't have minded this behavior, if it wasn't for the fact that he became so selfish and jerk-ish. If he was nice he would've at least been nice to Seung-ah, and treated her with respect even though he wasn't into her. 

The way he treated her made me so angryヽ(`Д´)ﾉ Poor freaking Seung-ah had only been on one other date with Mir (and they pretty much had a brother sister relationship so it didn't seem like she was actually into him) and other than that she only knew JB. He should at least take into consideration how shitty it makes a girl feel when he is constantly on about Fei. Especially when that girl only has him. When you're on a date and you get a mission (keep in mind that it's a mission so it's something everyone has to do anyways) to give your partner a back-hug  you don't just not do it. There was no reason for him not to do it and it made Seung-ah feel like crap and probably really unwanted. That was just unacceptable. And I know I'm not the only one who noticed this really childish and jerk-ish behavior from JB towards Seung-ah because you could see that Hyungsik thought his behavior was awkward as well that one time the three of them went on some kind of date. And Hyungsik is the perfect example of how he should've behaved. He treated Seung-ah like a lady and tried to have fun with her even though Seung-ah was kind of JB's date/responsibility and he was obsessed with Jihyun.

I'm not even sure if JB realized he was a jerk in the end and just gave up on Fei or if it was just the producers who told him to do so. If I was Seung-ah at that last couple picking I would feel even worse if JB chose to stay with me, because it seemed like he only did it out of pity. Kinda like how a popular kid is sometimes especially nice to a nerd because the nerd is just that ugly. So JB really shocked me with how immature and unprofessional he presented himself during this show and that's pretty much my point with this whole long rant. Sorry JB fans!

71-Into the Fire

Hey watchers! ^^Guess what? This week I had my mock oral exam, because I'm in my last year of middle school now. Oral exams suck and they are pretty much the thing most of the norwegian students hate. We only have our oral exams in one subject though, and we are randomly picked for a subject(if that made any sense). Now all my friends and me are dreading the day we get picked for a subject because there is a chance we end up with foreign language -.- People here will cry if they get foreign language. But I was lucky! I ended up with english! English is maybe the best subject you could get, other than religion and spirituality of course. And when I was gonna draw my assignment for the exam I drew the Cold War. At first I was stressed because this assignment is rather difficult and it requires a lot of knowledge. But it was all good when I decided to concentrate my presentation on the Korean War and even more specific the Student soldiers from SK. Because little did I know there was an amazing movie made about the student soldiers called 71-Into the Fire. I started watching the movie, to get inspiration for my presentation when I noticed that the main character was none other that T.O.P from Big Bang! I thought I'd do a little review of the movie for you:)

First of all T.O.P in this movie was great in general, and I was pleasantly surprised by his acting. But(and I know many will argue, but I'm gonna write it anyways) I'm not sure he was the best actor for this part.. Now, from everything I've learned about the Korean War and the student soldiers they're supposed to be brave, young men who had a horrible fate. And honestly I think someone who looked more young and innocent would be a better pick for the part of Oh Jung-Beom. I'm not saying that top is necessarily old looking, but he does have a rather original face with strong facial features, and I think that is partly why I almost didn't get that he was a student at first.

Another thing that bugged me about the film was that there was no real romance. Now I know the theme wasn't supposed to be romantic either(It's a film about a group of boys fighting a war after-all). But the nurse who seems to take an interest in him is a really misleading part. It's like they're leading you on to think that she will matter, but then she just doesn't have anything to do with the rest of the story whatsoever(there's not even a flashback or something!). The part with the woman also just seems a little unnecessary to me, like they just added that to fill in a couple of more minutes..

But all in all I have to admit that this movie was really touching and inspiring. These guys fought a war, and I'm sitting on my laptop all day.. you know? This movie was much more entertaining than I thought it was gonna be, since I'm not a huge war movie lover. I would reccomend this movie to everyone, weather your'e looking for a good war movie or just looking for T.O.P dressed as a super cute 16-year old(I think) schoolboy!

first post evah!

brohohohoho